Be here. Be now. Be SEEN.

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Lam's blog

365, week 29

197 of 365: My boys went exploring in the mud with their galoshes.

198 of 365: Who doesn't love water play (even on a rainy day)?

199 of 365: I have a bunch of photos of this gal smiling at the camera and better composed so that she's not dead center in the frame.  And yet, the quietness of this one is my fave of the day.

200 of 365:  Meh.  I don't love this one.  But it's hard for me to love any images without at least one child somewhere in the frame.

201 of 365: Tulle and tootsies!  These belong to a girl who's less than 2 weeks old!

202 of 365: There's some quote about the best camera being the one that's with you.  Still, I can't believe I'm including this iPhone double rainbow snapshot.  But when I pulled over to the side of the road with both kids in the back, I only had my celly with me.  And in the end, I've still preserved the moment--so I guess that's a good thing.

203 of 365: I have got to stop reaching the end of the day and realizing that I have no 365 image yet.  I get desperate and randomly snap pics without much consideration. 

 

365, week 28

I'm no bandwagon jumper.   Of the 365 photography projects, with which so many were enamored, I'm definitely a late adopter.  And then I became a midway abandoner.  So I'm going to pick it up here...exactly where I left off.  It's my project and I say it's kosher to do so!

 

190 of 365: I was sitting in a dark room with only my iMac to light the way.  Three Lego men were delivered to my desk as a plea to stop and play.  And I did, in fact, stop and play.

191 of 365: Oh, yeah...I suddenly remember what terrifies me about this very public photography project: displaying my stunningly boring, uninspired images.  But I have thing for magenta and turquoise so this corner of a market basket gets immortalized as today's entry.

192 of 365: I love (and I mean LOVE!) seeing parents with their children...especially the really itty bitty ones.  This gal just happens to be 2 days old and already the center of her parents' lives.  It's amazing how such a small package opens up to reveal so much joy and hope.

 

193 of 365: I snapped this at Disneyland.  A little before I lost (someone stole?) my phone.  So now, what is a neutral photo actually brings me sadness.  

 

194 of 365: Powering through my phone bereavement, I return to Disneyland the following day...and find two wonderful friends and their kids!  Now, this is a neutral photo that brings me happiness!

195 of 365: I love the promise of high school seniors...so ready to venture out into the world on their own and yet still so tender.

 

196 of 365: Well, it was bound to happen.  There's no way I could get through 365 days of photos without including my kids.  And it's not even a good capture...it just happens to be the only one I snapped for the day.  I suppose that's part of the lesson of this project.

 

Psychotherapy and photography

When a patient first enters the therapy room, he often tries to steer the session independently and without regard to the therapist's intended direction.  This is perhaps a direct reflection of his own presenting pathology--his terror upon relinquishing control, his distrust of others, or some other underlying process that undermines the collaboration between him and his therapist.  

As a new and less than confident clinician, I often let this pathology bulldoze a session.  Then I gained a little knowledge, experience, and, well...arrogance, and I quickly (far too quickly) grabbed the reins.  After all, I was the expert, the doctor whom the patient sought out after researching referrals, credentials, and such.  So why shouldn't I steer the course toward psychological well being?  Why?  Because it doesn't work when one person commandeers the entire operation, that's why!

After I gained even more knowledge, experience, and a decent measure of humility, I began to appreciate the patient's perspective, not only to reveal mental illness, but also as a way of understanding his coping strategies, his personal strengths.  It is through this early alignment with the patient's presenting style that a strong enough therapeutic alliance can be fostered to usher in emotional wellness.  

My journey as a photographer has mirrored the journey I took as a clinician.  During my first few sessions, the clients wanted very specific shots and certain looks and I delivered on cue.  It felt awkward for me and didn't provide the images the clients truly wanted--like the ones in my portfolio, the content of which were specifically selected because they reflected MY style, the style to which the clients were attracted prior to engaging my services in the first place.

Having been through this as a psychologist, I was able to skip right over that middle stage of egomanical stampeding.  I am now confident enough to voice my preference without silencing my clients' preferences.  And I have to say that I'm thrilled by this collaborative process because it leaves both the photographer and the photographed relaxed and allows for the kind of creative output that I would not have been able to generate on my own.

I can't believe I get to do this!  I can't believe that I get to create this kind of alliance and exist in the intimate space of others' families and the joy of childhood.  When I became a full time stay-at-home mom, I didn't think I would be able to experience the privilege of entering people's lives like I did as a therapist, but here I am.  In their space.  And I'm loving it!

By the way, these photos have nothing to do with the text in this post.  Stop your psychoanalyzing.  Leave that to the experts!  ;)

 

Sen10r session

I'm so hip (not even close) that I know all the young people's lingo (because only hipsters use the term "young people" to refer to the generation preceding their own?).  Okay, for the other old folks like myself, here's the translation: (class of 2010) + (senior) = (sen10r).  Eh?  Get it?  Oh--you got it immediately?  I was the only one stumped when I first saw it?  Hmm...

Okay, well, either way, I'm really excited to have shot my first sen10r of this academic year's graduating class.

And I simply love how different it is to have a session with a young adult as opposed to the itty bitty ones I'm usually shooting!

 

A year

When you're only a year old, and you can't quite walk and talk yet...

you also can't appreciate how simply amazing it is to have parents who make you feel totally warm and safe.

Having those completely nurturing, hysterically funny people around you all the time is just a given.

But those of us around you who can see how secure and joyful you are, can certainly appreciate it!